My Dad

Dear Papa,

this is for you,i missed you alot and could not stop myself to think about that darkest day of my life.

8th Aug. when i lost you for forever.

I still remember when you say "what are you doing my boy

?"gives immense pleasure

This   is   really    painful   to     face    in this    race    being     alone...........

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then


Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved


If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again



When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me,
Then finally make me do just what my mama said


Later that night when I was asleep
He left a coin under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me


If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father
again


Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear her, mama cryin’ for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me


I know I’m prayin’ for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don’t do it usually
But Lord, she’s dyin’ to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

I love you papa and i know you always look at me and with me, juz dont worry i will manage everything........

I'm so tired,

I haven't slept a wink,

I'm so tired,

my mind is on the blink

I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink,

no, no, no

I'm so tired,

I don't know what to do,

I'm so tired,

my mind is set on you

I wonder should I call you but I know what you'd do,

you'd say I'm putting you on,

But it's no joke,

it's doing me harm,

you know I can't sleep

I can't stop my brain,

you know it's three days,

I'm going insane

You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind

I'm so tired,

I'm feeling so upset,

although I'm so tired,

I'll have another cigarette

And curse Sir Walter Raleigh,

he was such a stupid get,

you'd say I'm putting you on,

But it's no joke,

it's doing me harm,

you know I can't sleep

I can't stop my brain,

you know it's three weeks,

I'm going insane

You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind

Give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind

Give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind

Give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind

Dear Papa,

this is for you,i missed you alot and could not stop myself to think about that darkest day of my life.

8th Aug. when i lost you for forever.

I still remember when you say "what are you doing my boy

?"gives immense pleasure

This   is   really    painful   to     face    in this    race    being     alone...........

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then


Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved


If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again



When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me,
Then finally make me do just what my mama said


Later that night when I was asleep
He left a coin under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me


If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father
again


Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear her, mama cryin’ for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me


I know I’m prayin’ for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don’t do it usually
But Lord, she’s dyin’ to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

I love you papa and i know you always look at me and with me, juz dont worry i will manage everything........

Pyaar me humne kya paaya chodo ye ab jane do,kya btlayen kya kaisa tha jaisa bhi tha jane do.

Wo aakhri mulakat shayad mujhe pata tha ki fir milna nahin ho payega par fir bhi main ye jatana nahin chahta tha aur koshish kar raha tha ki shayad uske chehere par wo umeed dikhe,wo haunsla dikhe.Aur wo bhi shayad yahi koshish kar rahi thi par uski koshish ne mano ghutne tek diye jab train platform par ruki,aur dekhte hi dekhte dabe hue dard,gam,takleef laawa ban kar foot pade.

Aaaj bhi apne aap se main ye sawaal poochtha hun ki kyun maine kisi ke emotions ke saah khela,kyun kisi ko sapne dekhne ka haq diya,kyun nahin samajh saka uske pyaar ko,kyun itna khudgarj ho gaya.

Aaj bhi wo chehra,wo Lucknow ka station,wo reservation window aur meri aakhri mulakat uski kasak ke saath,uski har baat rah rah ke yaad aati hai aur dil ki gahraiyon me jahan maine kisi ko jhankne tak nahin deta badi aasani se utar jati hai,mano sirf un gahraiyon me sirf usi ka haq hai.

Aaj bhi woh  manjar saath hai,jo akelapan shayad maine tab mehsus kiya tha wo aaj bhi mera humsafar hai.Hum kyun apna khalipan baatne ke liye kisi ki majburion ka fayda utha lete hain aur ye kyun nahin samajh paate ke kisi aur ko uski jindgi jeene ka poora haq hai aur hume koi haq nahin kisi ko tohfe me itne dard dene ka wo dard jo puri jindgi ke liye sirf nasoor ban kar rah jayen.

Aaj bhi wo hi shatranj ka maidan hai,wo hi bisaat,wo hi chaalon ka daur par ek mohra toot chuka hai kisi aur ke liye maat khate khate,fasta ja raha hai chalon me aur ye chalen jo koi aur nahin uska khud ka wajeer chal raha hai.Dushman ko harana kitna aasaaan lagta hai par koi apna aapki apni bisaat par aapki saari chalon ko ulta kar de to sivay takleef ke kuch nahin deta.

Aaj bhi taash ke 52 patte,aur har patte ke saath ek haar,haar faila ke intejar karti dikhayi deti hai,

Aaj bhi jab mujhko wo pal yaad aate hain,

 tere roobaru teri justju tere ishq me tere ishq me

Tere ishq me hai tere ishq me raakh se roothi koyal se kaali raat kate na hijra wali,

Teri justju karte rahe marte rahe,tere ishq me,tere roobaru baithe hue marte rahe tere ishq me,

Tere ishq me tanhaiyan,tanhaiya,tere ishq me,humne bahut behlaiyan,tanhaiyan tere ishq me.

HONEY.

Life is a live example to see and analyze altogether different and diversified set of people.

One Set:-Devoted  and always happy, gives happiness and enjoyment, blind supporters in every scenario of life.

Second Set:-Controvercial,tried to be honest but jealous, never can see anybody happy.

Third Set:- Those who are even worse for their own sisters and brothers try to showoff extreme intellectual and intelligence but inside they are scary whatsoever the reasons e.g. there personality, low grade knowledge, complicated style of handling the situation.

Fourth Set:- Looser at own front,always’s look for their own benefit and then their family members profit even after then if got some room for others then also make the things panic and puzzled.

Life I do agree a cocktail of all different kind of drinks, blend of  so many attitudes.

But problem starts when some body needs unwanted and unnecessary responses.

I have seen persons very good for past relations but problem with present one,I don’t know why they made such habits to be unhappy always’s.

And what they want God to do in such aspects.

Never-ever expect a relation where you feel would be in trouble at the end, if have then keep the courage to open and to favor it. But now a day’s I have seen girls used to say every second person honey,my love why? Because they are having such warm welcome style and attitude. Hat’s off,superb. Who?are going to tell these small town gals that you can’t spread ur honey on every second person like this. Or you also call every second person ur Daddy.My GOD really such gal’s should move USA or UK for further evaluation…

I know such devoted personalities,I don’t know where they are putting such devotion and bloody hell for whom.

One of my friends wife is having such affair earlier,my friend asked her about the same but it was refused and taken for granted. I asked my friend also to avoid such small things which happened before marriage but problem starts when one fine day he saw those transmission of mails where mind blowing devotion was seen and was continued after marriage,after this episode even his holy wife was trying to cover and the best part of the story that person so called affair turned up and start accepting the confusion done by third person. Surprisingly great My friend by profession who is involvolved in judging others is going to trust such things in fact would never be able to give such love and care to his wife and her family  for whole life.And above all what he will think about her family members???????

Mistakes are granted nonsense  explanations no places.

If any female reading this,i would like to say Be honest and make the things clear,otherwise soon one fine day extreme storming condition will spoil everything and then will left with nothing instead of empty hands.

ALONE.

Still Remember that time when I lost my Dad, my role model and my coach for every small step right from my birth.

I started my Life from Dehradun , a beautiful city of Mountains,Valley and rivers with full of greenry.

I can still feel and sooth that safe touch when probably my Dad  would have been taken me into his arms first time and can realize better his words.Those words which were more sweeter than honey,more deeper than sea,more wider than sky and above all full of love and ownness.

Yes I was the one what exactly my Dad dreamed about as his son,but some times you tried a lot to touch the expectation of ur beloved ,race faster and faster but at the end point you realize winning flag is not in ur hold.

That Race which matters a lot for you because some body else behind you is taking more pain to see that flag in your hand.

Really to win and give an utmost satisfaction to ur self is very smaller than to see someone else taking the pleasure of the same.Honestly I am not at all that winner,but honestly I tried my level best to see that something in my Dad’s eyes,those eyes which always wanted me to have that winner crown and those lips which always wanted to kiss his son’s forehead  and those arms which wanted to give me a warm and deep hug……

Even after loosing any game I got great appreciation from my dad.

Today I need the same but sad part I don’t have any body to be there with me…

Second part I got married with high expectation to join a new family, and every expectation was brutally squeezed and being a fand being a frontline warrior I used to coordinate, but why? To coordinate and why to compromise?when there are no mistakes at my end?why I critically evaluated as the worst relation any body would ever have?why? because I don’t believe in hiding something?because I am straightforward?because I am blunt ?because I am honest?if I am paying because of such reasons then I am willing to pay heavily but no more compromises with those who are bloody liars and cheaters.

Yes! I loved some one and hav the guts to accept the same things,because I am not like those bastards who ditches some body and whole life spoil in preparing the pitch to convince on their fuckoff excuses.

  Yes  I tried best to accept the some one I liked but in my every  decision I think my dad would be near to me  and will feel in my absence my son is some how hurting everybody for the sake of his likings…

Dad I want to live by my own way plz give me one day where I can juz come out from the role of a son,a brother,a husband,an employee and will hav the pleasure to live what I am, I want to purchase something for me except drink and ciggretes,want to see me infront of mirror the whole day what I was and what I am.

I want to go out for shopping,to eat some food in a restaurant,to take a deep breath,to

Yes! I will live my life once.Strong Rope of Hope.... 

Life is really shows different faces, faces which are simply gives different parameters a different lookout, different pitch to play always.

Your own pitch where you feel Ditch.

Jindgi dusron ke liye jeete jeete thak gaya hun,wo dusre jo aapki takleef ko tamasha samajhte hain,har pal ek naye pod pe ek naya khanjar liye milte hain.

Us khanjar ka manjar bhi alag hota hai jo shayad chubhte waqt dard ka andajaa bhi nahin lagata sirf chahta hai andar tak chu jaana,gharai tak pahunchna, wo gahrai jahan dard nasoor ban jata hai aur khoon ki har boond hisab mangti hai aapko khoon ke taraju me tol deti hai,aur boli lgti hai wo boli jahan neelami sirf aapki hoti hai,wo neelami jahan se aap ek hare hue saudagar ki tarah uthe hain,wo neelami jahan aapka sab kuch bik jata hai,wo neelami jahan aapke aasuon ki koi kadra nahin hoti kadra hoti hai to jyada se jyada bolo lagane wale ke aur fir ek hatoda padta hai jahan sabse jyada boli lagane wale ko sabkuch de diya jata hai wo sab kuch jo shayad aapne ek ek tinka kar ke joda hota hai aur fir

Milte hain log in hi mansubon ke saath,inhi mulakaton se, sirf matlabon se,sirf nahin milte to wo jo malham lagane ka marm bhi samajte hon.

Dard ki har aawaaz sun chukka hun, har dastak aaj tak goonjti  hai in kaaanon me.

Darwajon  ko bhi shayad aadat pad chuki hai  inhi aawajon ko sunne ki inhi takleefon ka intejaar karne ki,par ye man fir bhi sochata hai har pal shayad koi to samjhe par samajh ne wale samajhne me der kar dete hain bahut der …….

Kaise batayen aur kisko batayen ki kaisi thi wo mulakaaten jin me pyaar chupa hota tha,kaisi thi wo hasraten jis me deedar chupa hota tha,kaisi thi  wo raahen jin me  intezaar chupa hota tha ,kaisa tha wo sparsh jis me ahsaas chupa hota tha,kahan chali gai wo raaten jin me  tumhare   sapno ka saamna hua karta tha , kahan gai wo barsaaten jin boodon ko bhi shayad intejaar hota tha hum dono ko ek doosre ke karreb aate hue dekhne ka, un sapno ko sajate aur dekhte hue dekhne ka wo bade- bade vaade vo saath rahne  ki kasme .

Aaj bhi sab kuch waisa hi hai BAS EK TUM NAHIN HO!

“Saji nahin baarat to kya aayi na milan ki raat to kya,pyaar kiya teri yaadon se gathbandhan tere waadon se.”

“Tune apna maan liya hai hum the kahan is kaabil,wo ahsaaan kiya jise bhulana hai muskil .Deh bani na dulhan to kya pehne nahin kangan to kya.”

“Tan ke rishte toot bhi jayen toote na man ke bandhan, jisne diya humko apnaapan usi ka hai ye jeevan,Baandh liye man ka bandhan jeevan hai tujh par arpan.”

BIN PHERE HUM TERE.

I C U is the word which really gives afeeling of an Emergency,Emergency which can be caused with hell number of reasons and mishappenings

I C U also shows the kind of Care one needs in need

I C U also indicates that i know everything about you i feel u when ur heart beats i feel u when u feel puzzeled,i feel u when u needed me most.

But inspite of the fact why some one close to heart lies and shows the respact for the closest one.

Why? some one expects depth love for which that does'nt deserve for.

In my very small experience of life i have seen great variations evry body expects and blames without knowing the exact reality behind.

Why? i luv to keep my self down juz for the sake of giving space to some one.

why? some times we neglect our priorities to juz set others priorities in our life

why? we always compromise even we don't want to do this?

why? we do believe in being bad to make some one better than us?

But interesting to whom it shoul realized is far far away from the realities....

My small experiance  teaches me that

"DON'T LET SOMEONE BECOME A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE…

"Kal Khel me hum ho na ho Gardish Me tare rahenge Sada,Sabko Hasane Behrupia Roop badal Fir Aayega." these lines are so crystal clear in all aspects friends.
We are nothing but a role players for every situation we are having a different mask,some times we play role of an ideol son,brother,husband,father,employee,friend,guide,philospher,lover and so on.
Those are smart enough who always live in realities and know their identities well but what about those who do believe in living into dreams,honestly i am in second category Living in Dreams is really gives immense pleasure vis a vis living in realities.Why we dont accept that we are normal human beings with nothing special,as we are not born wd the golden spoon in our mouth we are one where realities wins and dreams get nothing but a big full stop.Inspite of all facts we love our dreams.
Dreams which are fake,far away from the hard realities,not at all attached with our emotions.
Dreams which always remembers those beautiful days which will never back and without recaps,where we found those touching chapters which are still untouced and virgin.
"jane kahan gaye wo din kehte the teri raah me najron ko hum bichayenge chahe kahin bhi tum raho chahenge tumko umra bhar tunko na bhool payenge,tere kadam jahan pade sazde kiye the yaar ne mujhko rula rula diya jaati hui bahar ne,meri nazar me aaj kal din bhi andheri raat hain saaya hi apne saath tha saaya hi apne saarh hai"